Beast coast pulled over in DC!?! OH NO!!!

Yes its true. I, Blaise Ronald Vincz, was pulled over seconds after the question "have you ever been pulled over in the IC van?" was asked. Call it what you want but I call it complete sh-crap. 

Story time with cousin Blaise. 

Gulu Walk was held on a rainy windy day here in Washington DC (home of the Redskins, who knew?) After a few laughs with Michael Poffenberger from Resolve Uganda, burritos at Chipolte, and a ridiculous text conversation between Justin Wheeler and Lisa Dougan, the beast coasters decided to venture over to Justin's project The Option/LiNK to see the DC office. It turns out that the streets of DC can be very confusing, especially in the rain. On most streets it is illegal to turn left Monday thru Friday. Let me say that last half again - MONDAY THRU FRIDAY. Today its Saturday. Legally, I shouldn't be pulled over while turning left on a Saturday... So I did it. I turned left. 

Halfway through the intersection I hear a little chirp and a blue and red glare flashes across my mirror. 

Not one.

Not two.

But THREE cop cars line up behind our terrified little van. 

You know things aren't going to go well when the first thing out of the officer's mouth is "Did you not see the three big NO LEFT TURNS signs?!? NOW YOU GOT ME OUT HERE IN THE POURING RAIN!" After staring at me he then shouted, "HOW ABOUT THE 3 POLICE CARS BEHIND YOU?!? YOU DIDN'T SEE THOSE?!?"

I tried to explain that I was under the impression that I could turn left since it was Saturday but before I get that out I was pierced by the following question-

"HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DRIVING!?!"

How do you answer that? What does that even mean? I gave the best answer I could but I'd be a liar if I didn't want to punch this power tripping punk right in his eye. 

"Five years, Sir."

"Long enough to know what a NO LEFT TURNS sign means?"

"Sir, the sign says NO LEFT TURNS Monday Thur Friday." 

By this time there is a cop standing in front of our van scoping out the Cali plates, the first cop heads back to his car unsatisfied with my answers. The cop from in front of our van leans in to the window and smiles. "You guys aren't in here smoking anything illegal are you?" He giggles. I would assume he said this because of the mound of snacks in the space between the front seats. Maybe it was the peace sign on the side of the van, I'm not sure. He then sniffed my shoulder and said I smelled nice... 

I was confused.

Cynthia saves the day by giving the best 10 second rundown of IC ever told... even under pressure, that girl is M O N E Y. 

The nice cop seemed to be content, he patted me on the shoulder and told me to have a good day. 

That's it? No ticket? No apology? 

The nice cop decides he should check with the other jerk wad of a cop to see if we are free to go.

We are all clear. 

No ticket.

No need for an apology at this point. 

Off we go. 

...until next time.

-Beastly Blazzor of the Beast Coast.